Welcome

Honestly, my blogs is a mix of anything and everything

I don’t have a consistent posting schedule (At least once a week or biweekly)

Created in  May 24, 2014, and almost always abandoned (sorry).

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Post Vacation

I’m definitely feeling sadness and a loss of motivation after vacation.

Here’s a brief of my vacation.

August 2-5 was initially planned back in last spring. I went to a drag racing event in Ohio with my best friend. I haven’t seen her in 8 months prior.

I think 2018 was the worst year for me so far. I forgot if I had talked about my countless encounters of panic attacks and my own insecurities, but that really dragged me down this year. I think I really needed a best friend.

Okay so we had the best of time but it went rotten Saturday night due to an family argument. I don’t blame her. I gave her space. Everything was good as new the next morning.

Around 1:30 P.M. I had to hit the road with my best friend’s family friend, who I had known from the year before. I had mixed opinions with the guy (to hate him or not, won’t dive into the reasons). It was fairly awkward the first hour until we came across talking about high school. The conversation went well for about an hour or so. We touched upon the racing event, advice, driving, and his college.

So the aftermath. I felt very sad for a couple of days. I gave (and still having)  “catch-up” days before returning to my normal routine. I had a difficult time being productive and even getting out of bed. These days went by in a blink. I’m running on Netflix shows, granola bars, and Youtube. It’s been okay. I hope by Monday I will start trying to follow a routine.

 

Summer awaits

I do too many of these updates because I am really inconsistent with posting (sorry). Summer break had already began on June 8th.

Honestly it’s not going too good. I have to work from 10 am – 10 pm until next week July 11.  I started June 11. I’m supposed to help out my parents with my sister and the waitress (a family friend). It has its ups and downs.

I am too tired to go on a morning run, so I do it at 11 pm at night when it’s scary as hell. I have been going off track with my running these few weeks. My parents expect me to work and help out for the summer without pay. Yes I know I shouldn’t be complaining about money, but my goals were a priority. I absolutely know they bust their asses to provide me with the things I have. I feel like if I can’t complete my goal, then at least I have something in return for working. You may thing, but isn’t your parents providing a reason for you to work for free? To be honest, no. I very much so understand if you ask that. I guess I am selfish and want pay. At the end of the day, I won’t be getting payed, but I’ll live.

When I’m “free”, I plan to focus on productivity, my goals, and hanging out with friends.

Talking about friends, they exclude me from hangouts. I’ve tried to bring it up, and one of them said that it’s always been like that.They are so knit together that I don’t even get asked to go with them. I have been friends with them for about an year. I do get jealous of other people’s friendships. How people have best friend duos. I feel so lonely that I truly am so self conscious about it. My best friend moved this summer, and it just went downhill from there. This year was the most hideous year I’ve experienced so far. In January, I had my first severe panic attack since 4th grade. That just set everything off. I hope that will change next year.

Alright let’s wrap this up. Best of luck and see ya soon!

State of Mind

I think having friends and people to talk to is really important.

I did state that 2017 was a bad year. I had 3 panic attacks in December and 1 in January. I’ve always had panic attacks, but I only realized it late 2017. I had two bad ones during school in December. All of them were in school.

I think that I may have anxiety and depression? I don’t wanna self diagnose or say anything for attention.

My very first panic attack was in 4th grade. Ever since then, I’ve had many degrading events that really sticks to me. It affects how I think everyday. I really cannot stop overthinking about everything.

At night, I usually think about my past and future and I get stressed thinking about what I can’t change.

I’m a lonely person. If you see me, you may think, “she has a nice group of friends”, but I always feel like the 5th wheel in everything. I get left out on hangouts and I’m not included in conversations.

I’m not happy with anything. I feel like I’m dragging a sack of rocks everyday just to do anything. I’ve been feeling all of this since a few years ago. I don’t feel accomplished, satisfied, or anything. I think I’m a burden and selfish for everything I do. I’m in a state of mind where I have nothing to look forward to. What can I really do for anyone? I don’t make people happy. I don’t wanna speak about how I’m really feeling because I feel very selfish. I keep in mind for me to shut my mouth and listen. I do feel jealous of everyone else. I can’t seem to find anything bad in other people’s life.

I think I conceal everything well because no one notices.

Most days, I lay in my bed after I get home and do nothing except take a 3 hour nap. I repeat this usually everyday. I’m in bed at 10:30 and can’t sleep until 12.

I stopped doing art because I don’t have any motivation. It all looks like shit. Running doesn’t help my mood.

I recently got bangs (on Thursday) I decided on Sunday. I don’t hate it or love it. It’s just there.

I’ll talk about everything in more depth tomorrow. I’m done for today.

How to add a page

You need to create a page first.

To do this, there are two options that I know.

1.

sitepage.PNG Add a page by clicking the button on your “My Sites” tab. The page option should be under “manage”.

2.   In the WordPress admin dashboard, there is an option of creating a page.

To get there, it is under the “Configure” heading on the same tab as the previous option.

dashboard
“Add new” button 

Now you make your page.


Step 2:

To add the page to the menu bar on your site, we need to head there.

sitepage.PNG
click the “WP Admin”

First, head to the admin dashboard by clicking on “WP Admin”.


Step 3:

The menu option should be under “Appearance”.

subpage.PNG


Step 4:

This should show up. If your beginning a new menu, yours would be empty.

menus

 


Step 5:

Select which pages you want to add in

pagemenu.PNG


Step 6:

Click “Add to Menu” below the pages box.add

The page you selected should show up in the giant “Menu Selection” box.

test

These pages look like this on the site:

menu.PNG
“Test” does not have any drop down option 

To make the drop down options under a page, you need to drag the page (that you want to be the sub item) under the main one.

test

Notice how “Contact me” is labeled a sub item of “About”. That means that it looks like the picture below when done.

add.PNG

If you want to get extra fancy, you can add a sub-sub page. It’s called a sub page.

add.PNG

You just repeat all the steps above.

add.PNG


 

That’s it! Pretty simple, right? Now go create your pages and menus! Customize them according to what you want your content to be.

Blog Aesthetic Update

Hey, so did I tell you I changed the whole look of the blog?

Well you should go check it out 😉             YourselfINeedSomeAssuranceItWasSoStressfulTofindDividers.

I’m working towards changing the content pretty soon (it’ll be done by the end of Friday).

Alright it’s a goodnight from me (11:30 P.M. in my timezone).

2018 Goals

I wanted to start off the beginning of the new year with some goals that I want and should keep.

I know my promises to myself are usually ones I can’t keep *abandoning the blog*, but I want to try harder and improve that. It’s a simple (not really) list this year.

  • Get into traditional inking
  • Start water coloring this year
  • Calligraphy/hand lettering
  • Be able to run at least 2 miles without walking by track season (March)
  • Save money
  • Keep a moderate diet
  • Keep up bullet journal
  • Being productive
  • Time manage

Now let’s wait and update on how I’m doing with these goals.

So far, it’s been not as I hoped it to be. I spent most of my money already, so that goal needs work. I really haven’t been practicing inking or drawing at all. The list goes on;my  diet is out the door, productivity has been okay, and running is doing less than fine. I do have some goals that I’ve been able to keep: bullet journal and hand lettering.

Yes, improvements need to be made, but I’l keep this updated in a couple of week or so.

(I’ll be posting at least once a week).